Reflective Listening Cheat Sheet

Throughout my training as a couple and family therapist I have learned the importance of getting people to talk to each other.  As we start in therapy most people typically talk about each other through the therapist. It seems to me that this is triangulation at its heart--though often a necessary part of the process; sometimes the relationship is just too volatile to allow deep emotions to be expressed to each other without a safe mediator between them (a therapist).

One of the tools that I have learned to get people to talk to each other is to do highly structured exercise.  It can be really difficult to just jump into reflective listening, so I have a cheat sheet that I have used with great success.  It helps in session and some even have success with it outside of session in their own "couch sessions."

Basically it is a fill in the blank exercise:

When _______________________________ I feel/think/_______________________________.

When _______________________________You feel/think_____________________________.


You can see the file uploaded on google drive here or the picture below.