Functional Family Therapy

In my first couples case, my supervisor recommended switching the model of treatment to Functional Family Therapy.  Being another model that we have not covered in our program, I have been struggling to develop a method of approaching treatment with this model.

The concept that I like the most, and have since implemented it almost every couples case, is that there are three outcomes from any interaction between couples.  An action can either create distance between partners, maintain the relationship as is, or bring the couple closer together.  While there is no hard-fast rule of what actions fall into these categories the theorists of Functional Family Therapy have provided some standard examples.

Distancing

Work (especially working another job on the side)

School (especially when only one partner is attending)

A teen learning to drive.

Arguing

Perhaps the most insightful concept of distancing is the consideration of working, learning to drive, or going to school as distancing activities.  It is common to think of only *bad* or *negative* activities, such as arguing, as distancing, but any time spent apart creates a distance.  Working and going to school, or learning to drive, certainly are *good* and many times necessary to have in a relationship.  However, they each create experiences that are not shared between couples.  I'm sure any graduate student that is in a committed relationship would be willing to testify of this truth.  I know it is the case with me and my wife, and all the people in committed relationships in my cohort.  The amount of time spent studying and at school, as well as the rethinking of our own relationships, certainly brings a large amount of stress to our relationships.  It really was an interesting perspective to realize that my work and school (which are both good) created strains on our relationships.

Regulating

Group date outings

Going to a movie (my wife and I find this a little more intimate than regulation, but we do both acknowledge that the movie itself is more regulation.  We enjoy cuddling during the movie and talking about the movie, which are both creating intimacy)

Eating together

Coming closer (creating intimacy)

Sexual intimacy (I am hesitant to just write it as sex, because not all sexual encounters even between loving couples are intimate)

Having deep conversations

After being able to identify, and explicitly doing so, a couple is (hopefully) better able to increase the number of regulation and intimacy activities to balance the distancing ones.