Things I'm trying to learn how to teach

I have a couple of clients that punish their children for misbehavior and having a bad attitude.  (Not a big shocker, actually often this problem is the lack of consequences) My concern is not the rules that are being enforced--but how.  I'm struggling with approaching this subject in a way that will not trigger the parents to be defensive.  The issue is as follows:

When the children are in a bad mood they are put in a time out until they are able to talk to their parents when they are happy.

My struggle is that I actually really like this rule.  I don't want to talk to a stinker in a bad mood.  However, I wonder if this is teaching these kids that it is only acceptable to be happy.  Many clients I see (usually men) come in with really only two emotions they know:  mad and angry.  While I think that teaching children to self-soothe and emotionally regulate themselves is fantastic and a good thing, I think that there has to be a better way to teach children about emotions. 

We should be teaching children that it is okay to feel how they feel and help them to learn to identify why they are upset or grumpy.  While this may be beyond the scope of a 4-year-old kid, it certainly is not beyond the scope of a 10 year old.  Charts like the ones below can be very helpful in helping to learn to identify how and what we feel.

The biggest point I want is that we should be teaching that our emotions are ok.  It's ok to be happy and it's ok to be sad.  However, certainly it's not okay to behavior badly.

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/the-real-reason-why-our-kids-quit-sport/story-fnet08ui-1226645601355

LifeSTAR Pornography and Sexual Addiction Treatment in Las Vegas!

At the beginning of my graduate program at UNLV I had the opportunity to attend a 3 day training about running a sex and porn addiction program called LifeSTAR.  There had been some talk and attempt for our UNLV MFT program to start a LifeSTAR program in Las Vegas but that ended up not working out.  However several months ago a group of therapists at the Kayenta Therapy Center (9418 W. Lake Mead Blvd.) began the process of starting a sex/porn addiction program through the LifeSTAR network.  I have been able to work with the program for the last few months and am really glad to experience this awesome and powerful program. 

LifeSTAR is a three-phase out-patient treatment program designed to help individuals, couples, and families that struggle with addiction and/or compulsive behaviors pertaining to pornography and sexual activities. The phases of treatment build upon each other and help to promote individual and relational healing and to provide a strong support system.  The program begins with a "Getting Started Workshop" of six weeks that is educational and experiential.  It provides a basic understanding of issues that influence unwanted behaviors, and offer tools to help you stop those behaviors and replace them with healthier ones. It empowers your recovery process and help you to strengthen your significant relationships.


LifeSTAR is a nationally recognized treatment program run by licensed therapists who are trained in sexual addiction recovery. Participants receive workbooks and other materials to help them through the recovery process. The phases are specifically designed to gently uncover and heal patterns that create and maintain addictive behaviors.

The primary feature setting LifeSTAR apart from other treatment programs is the support offered to spouses and partners of addicts. A major focus in each of the three phases is providing spouses and partners with educational information and tools that help in the healing process. Couples are encouraged to attend together, but single adults and those who are married but would rather come alone are also welcome and encouraged to attend..

See the calendar below for dates of the The next Phase 1 "Getting Started Workshop."  If you are interested in the program call (702) 513-0508 or email KayentaLegacy.LifeStar@gmail.com.

How to signup for LifeSTAR in Las Vegas

Sign Up Instructions for the LifeSTAR Phase 1 "Getting Started Workshop"

1. Call 702-513-0508 and indicate that you are interested in tthe LifeSTAR program. 
2. Currently LifeSTAR meetings are held on Tuesday evenings.